Wednesday, April 23, 2008

somebody please explain it to me

For those of you who have heard.....skip on down.

For those of you who haven't.....here goes:

My ever-inspiring roommate comes forth with one good idea after the other. Her most recent stroke of genius is that she's going to start dating again. I love this about her because she presents it as her choice. Like she's chosen to not date, and now, she will begin again. To someone whom dating has always been a mystery (except for that one long drawn-out relationship that ended poorly), I was truly moved by this thought.

So, I said to myself...If she's going to start dating again, I will too!

Like any out-of-practice mid-twenties girl who doesn't want to pick up some half-wasted loser from a bar who's just looking for a one-night stand, I create (or rather, update) my profile on an infamous online dating site. This was last Sunday. But I said to myself, I'm not going to pay the money to actually send emails, etc. unless I receive one first. (No, it's not cheap, it's just planning for my financial future!). Within 24 hours I have an email waiting in my dating "inbox". Great. Now I have to actually subscribe to see who's emailed me.

I read the email, and with the newness of this experience still hanging in the air, somehow find the courage to email the guy back. He seems nice enough....not exactly my first pick for a first date back in the game, but not my last pick either. We email for a couple days (the operative word being "couple" = 2) and what do you know -- I have a date the following day - Wednesday.

I meet Mr. New at a local resturaunt for dinner. Conversation is going well. I am a little rusty, but it doesn't take much to remember how to talk to strangers. I'm very confident, pleasant, and interested in what he's saying. During dinner there's a live band, and all is still well. We're out for about an hour and a half, when we both decide it's time to go. He pays the bill (I offer to tip, but am not allowed) and offers to walk me to my car. He says, "I'm so glad we did this. It was really great meeting you. If you'd like, I would love to take you out again. Here -- let's exchange numbers and I'll call you." We exchange numbers, he gives me a hug. As he's leaving, I say, "Thank you so much, I had a great time!" He says, "Oh my gosh. It was my pleasure." The date ends. I feel great.

It is important to note that I was not super into Mr. New, but I did have a nice time with him.

So, Thursday and Friday pass without contact. Normal.
By Saturday night I still haven't heard from Mr. New, so I think to myself, I am going to text him to say thanks again for dinner and see what he's up to.........................................


Now it's THIS Wednesday, still no word, and I'm completely mystified. What went wrong? Did I do something? Was I not funny enough? Not cute enough? Did I break some ultra-secret dating rule I was unaware of?

Please believe me when I say, I would have been absolutely FINE if he would have said at the end of the night, "Hey, thanks. It was really nice meeting you. Have a great night." It even would have been fine if he'd said, "You know, I had fun getting to know you but I just don't think it's going to work out."

At least then I WOULD KNOW!!!

But don't tell me you had so much fun and you're going to take me out again and let's exchange numbers and give me a hug when all you want to say is "Sorry, I'm just not that in to you."!!!!!!!!!!

Ideas? Suggestions? Insights? This is an open forum - words of wisdom from girls AND guys are welcome.

4 comments:

ajs {of MN} said...

you heard my take on it, but really though... HIS LOSS!
hearts!

Meg Hadley said...

hurmph.

1) it's a canned response he gives to anyone on a date because he can't commit

2) he's a d-bag

3) he's uber busy and will call you in the next few weeks

But believe me Mar, if he doesn't call you again or is actually not interested or whatever,
YOU DID NOTHING WRONG.
there's nothing you can do WRONG on a date. per se. it sounded like you were yourself and had fun, and SERIOUSLY that's all that matters. if for whatever reason things don't develop or whatnot, who the fuck knows.
but it's NOTHING wrong you did or the fact that you're "rusty" or whatevs.
as far as us smart friends of yours, you're hot and fresh and exciting.
hell who could ask for more?

apparently, this Mr. New, almost Mr. D-bag, is.....
a GUY.

shit, i would've expected as much.

and there's my slice of cynicism laced with sarcasm and some self-esteem boosters for ya :D

it's da truth.

LOVE YOU!!!!!!!

p.s. SO glad i finally heard the whole story!!

brooke said...

men. i'm so over them.

i don't mean to generalize, but this is my experience. men are weak. at least a hell of a lot weaker than women are. if he did want to say "i'm just not that into you," he was obviously too chicken to do so.

and if he does actually want to take you on another date, he's too chicken to actually call and follow through. at least within the three day rule.

all this to say, mr. new= CHICKEN.

(i know, i'm just a little bit of a beeyotch.)

isn't dating FUN?!?!? i love our SATC lives. :) by the way, you made my day with your comment on my post.... you sure know how to work your way into a girls heart! :)

MarenE said...

Girls -- I LOVE your input/advice/sarcasm/words of wisdom!! You seriously make my days. :) I'd better start writing more on here so I can keep getting pumped up by you three!!

I'm totally over it - btw. I know I'm still fabulous and you're all right -- HIS LOSS!

Hope you're enjoying the hint of spring!!
LOVE YOU all!!!

Life isn't about the breaths we take, it's about the moments that take our breath away. ~Heidi Wills