I know what you're thinking.....
what? therapy? I probably shouldn't be reading this.....it's about therapy.
But don't worry -- therapy is the new massage. And who doesn't love a good massage??
I have seen several different counselors in my lifetime. One in my freshmen year of high school. One at Luther. One when I left Luther. A few in between....and now I've been seeing Barb since January of '07.
There's such a stigma that goes with counseling: you're not strong enough to deal with your own problems; no one else needs therapy, why do you?; some people's lives are way worse than yours -- why do you need counseling?
And, I've believed all those things and been embarrassed each time I've started therapy. Until now. Now I believe therapy is the most beneficial thing anyone can do for themselves -- and I truly believe each and every one of us would benefit from talking to someone a couple times a month.
My latest session with Barb proved to be truly exhausting. I've been seeing her for over a year, and have managed to talk about everything from family to work to school to friends. I've spent over a year talking about all those things and trying so desperately to not talk about dating and relationships and how I actually feel about myself. And, yesterday, I finally ran out of "other stuff" to talk about, and so I began a whole new chapter in therapy -- dating and relationships.
It was really interesting to begin to talk about....because I realized I have had such a wall up about the issue that even my counselor hasn't dared to touch the subject for over a year. Wow! What an eye-opener. I am so happy and excited to finally be thinking about and working through whatever issues these are to get them over and done with! I'll keep you posted on what happens.
So, as I stand here on my soap box, preaching about the wonders of counseling, I'm hoping you're still reading and that you feel a little more comfortable mentioning or even talking about therapy. I have been told (by people in their mid-late 30s and even 40s) that they are so proud of me and a little jealous that I'm working on myself and personal issues at such a young age. They wish they would have felt ok enough with themselves and (god-forbid) therapy to start at an earlier age.
So, this is my little attempt to break down the social stigmas of therapy. And what was on Grey's last night?!? Meredith in therapy!! One day we will all feel comfortable enough to talk about this issue. For me it starts today. I hope it does for you too. Be proud of yourself -- by taking charge of your life and owning your emotions, you are on your way to being the best you you can be!
Friday, April 25, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
somebody please explain it to me
For those of you who have heard.....skip on down.
For those of you who haven't.....here goes:
My ever-inspiring roommate comes forth with one good idea after the other. Her most recent stroke of genius is that she's going to start dating again. I love this about her because she presents it as her choice. Like she's chosen to not date, and now, she will begin again. To someone whom dating has always been a mystery (except for that one long drawn-out relationship that ended poorly), I was truly moved by this thought.
So, I said to myself...If she's going to start dating again, I will too!
Like any out-of-practice mid-twenties girl who doesn't want to pick up some half-wasted loser from a bar who's just looking for a one-night stand, I create (or rather, update) my profile on an infamous online dating site. This was last Sunday. But I said to myself, I'm not going to pay the money to actually send emails, etc. unless I receive one first. (No, it's not cheap, it's just planning for my financial future!). Within 24 hours I have an email waiting in my dating "inbox". Great. Now I have to actually subscribe to see who's emailed me.
I read the email, and with the newness of this experience still hanging in the air, somehow find the courage to email the guy back. He seems nice enough....not exactly my first pick for a first date back in the game, but not my last pick either. We email for a couple days (the operative word being "couple" = 2) and what do you know -- I have a date the following day - Wednesday.
I meet Mr. New at a local resturaunt for dinner. Conversation is going well. I am a little rusty, but it doesn't take much to remember how to talk to strangers. I'm very confident, pleasant, and interested in what he's saying. During dinner there's a live band, and all is still well. We're out for about an hour and a half, when we both decide it's time to go. He pays the bill (I offer to tip, but am not allowed) and offers to walk me to my car. He says, "I'm so glad we did this. It was really great meeting you. If you'd like, I would love to take you out again. Here -- let's exchange numbers and I'll call you." We exchange numbers, he gives me a hug. As he's leaving, I say, "Thank you so much, I had a great time!" He says, "Oh my gosh. It was my pleasure." The date ends. I feel great.
It is important to note that I was not super into Mr. New, but I did have a nice time with him.
So, Thursday and Friday pass without contact. Normal.
By Saturday night I still haven't heard from Mr. New, so I think to myself, I am going to text him to say thanks again for dinner and see what he's up to.........................................
Now it's THIS Wednesday, still no word, and I'm completely mystified. What went wrong? Did I do something? Was I not funny enough? Not cute enough? Did I break some ultra-secret dating rule I was unaware of?
Please believe me when I say, I would have been absolutely FINE if he would have said at the end of the night, "Hey, thanks. It was really nice meeting you. Have a great night." It even would have been fine if he'd said, "You know, I had fun getting to know you but I just don't think it's going to work out."
At least then I WOULD KNOW!!!
But don't tell me you had so much fun and you're going to take me out again and let's exchange numbers and give me a hug when all you want to say is "Sorry, I'm just not that in to you."!!!!!!!!!!
Ideas? Suggestions? Insights? This is an open forum - words of wisdom from girls AND guys are welcome.
For those of you who haven't.....here goes:
My ever-inspiring roommate comes forth with one good idea after the other. Her most recent stroke of genius is that she's going to start dating again. I love this about her because she presents it as her choice. Like she's chosen to not date, and now, she will begin again. To someone whom dating has always been a mystery (except for that one long drawn-out relationship that ended poorly), I was truly moved by this thought.
So, I said to myself...If she's going to start dating again, I will too!
Like any out-of-practice mid-twenties girl who doesn't want to pick up some half-wasted loser from a bar who's just looking for a one-night stand, I create (or rather, update) my profile on an infamous online dating site. This was last Sunday. But I said to myself, I'm not going to pay the money to actually send emails, etc. unless I receive one first. (No, it's not cheap, it's just planning for my financial future!). Within 24 hours I have an email waiting in my dating "inbox". Great. Now I have to actually subscribe to see who's emailed me.
I read the email, and with the newness of this experience still hanging in the air, somehow find the courage to email the guy back. He seems nice enough....not exactly my first pick for a first date back in the game, but not my last pick either. We email for a couple days (the operative word being "couple" = 2) and what do you know -- I have a date the following day - Wednesday.
I meet Mr. New at a local resturaunt for dinner. Conversation is going well. I am a little rusty, but it doesn't take much to remember how to talk to strangers. I'm very confident, pleasant, and interested in what he's saying. During dinner there's a live band, and all is still well. We're out for about an hour and a half, when we both decide it's time to go. He pays the bill (I offer to tip, but am not allowed) and offers to walk me to my car. He says, "I'm so glad we did this. It was really great meeting you. If you'd like, I would love to take you out again. Here -- let's exchange numbers and I'll call you." We exchange numbers, he gives me a hug. As he's leaving, I say, "Thank you so much, I had a great time!" He says, "Oh my gosh. It was my pleasure." The date ends. I feel great.
It is important to note that I was not super into Mr. New, but I did have a nice time with him.
So, Thursday and Friday pass without contact. Normal.
By Saturday night I still haven't heard from Mr. New, so I think to myself, I am going to text him to say thanks again for dinner and see what he's up to.........................................
Now it's THIS Wednesday, still no word, and I'm completely mystified. What went wrong? Did I do something? Was I not funny enough? Not cute enough? Did I break some ultra-secret dating rule I was unaware of?
Please believe me when I say, I would have been absolutely FINE if he would have said at the end of the night, "Hey, thanks. It was really nice meeting you. Have a great night." It even would have been fine if he'd said, "You know, I had fun getting to know you but I just don't think it's going to work out."
At least then I WOULD KNOW!!!
But don't tell me you had so much fun and you're going to take me out again and let's exchange numbers and give me a hug when all you want to say is "Sorry, I'm just not that in to you."!!!!!!!!!!
Ideas? Suggestions? Insights? This is an open forum - words of wisdom from girls AND guys are welcome.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
the next big thing
My dear friend Nicholas Olof Jacobson-Larson, at the ripe young age of 21, composed his first full length musical. He has written music for numerous new plays in the Minneapolis area. He frequents the stage as an actor, musician, technician, and musical director. Check out what he's been up to this year at Berklee School of Music in Boston, MA at http://www.berkleemusic.com/promo/promokit-display?promokit_item_id=9641716. You can listen to some of his music, watch videos, read his bio, and check out pictures of what he has done over the years.
Here are some of my favorite pictures of Nick.
Phoenix
I had a FANTASTIC time in Phoenix last week!!! Dustin and I sat by the pool, watched some Ellen, ate really good food, went to Sedona, and FLEW IN A TINY PLANE!! It's so fun to get out of your typical routine and just get a new perspective. It clears the cobwebs, heightens the senses, and rejuvinates the soul. Here are the highlights:
The view from the top of South Mountain in Phoenix, AZ. This is looking through a window in a stone building at the top of the mountail. Don't worry -- we drove up it!!!
This is just outside Sedona, AZ. The landscape was absolutely breathtaking!!!
Dustin and I FLYING!! In this picture, he's in control of the plane, the air space, AND the camera. NO PRESSURE!! I think it turned out really well, all things considering!
Monday, March 31, 2008
My "official" spring break!
I'm off to Phoenix today for my official spring break! I'm going to be lounging by the pool, touring the city, possibly heading to Sedona for a day, or maybe LA, go flying with Dustin, and I'm sure lots of other things. And what do you know -- it's snowing!! It's been snowing ALL DAY, and we're expected to get lots more! Bye bye snow....hello 80s! I just hope my flight isn't delayed.
I'll let you know how it goes when I get back!
Bon Voyage!
I'll let you know how it goes when I get back!
Bon Voyage!
Monday, March 17, 2008
My "other" life
So, I'm a teacher. Big suprise there. My mom's a teacher, two of my grandpas were teachers/principal/president of a college, and many of my extended family members are teachers. I always knew I would be a teacher. Not for lack of creativity, mind you. Just destiny, I guess.
I'm happy being a teacher. I love working with kids and people. I couldn't be sitting behind a desk all day, or stuck in an office. That's just not me. Please keep in mind that I do like being a teacher as you read on...
In my "other" life, I am a high-powered business woman. No, maybe not business, but I work in an office in Chicago, and I wear business-woman clothes. I have deadlines and pressure, people who work under me, and business lunches with important clients. I think I'm the editor of a major magizine, actually. Maybe a magazine for women. But, I walk down the streets of Chicago with my important things to do and people to call, and then I leave it all at work and have a fabulous night life/home life as well. I live in an upscale apartment/condo in the nice part of Chicago (wherever that is) and take full advantage of the lake and the shopping and the cabs. Doesn't that sound divine?!
Who are you in your "other" life??
I'm happy being a teacher. I love working with kids and people. I couldn't be sitting behind a desk all day, or stuck in an office. That's just not me. Please keep in mind that I do like being a teacher as you read on...
In my "other" life, I am a high-powered business woman. No, maybe not business, but I work in an office in Chicago, and I wear business-woman clothes. I have deadlines and pressure, people who work under me, and business lunches with important clients. I think I'm the editor of a major magizine, actually. Maybe a magazine for women. But, I walk down the streets of Chicago with my important things to do and people to call, and then I leave it all at work and have a fabulous night life/home life as well. I live in an upscale apartment/condo in the nice part of Chicago (wherever that is) and take full advantage of the lake and the shopping and the cabs. Doesn't that sound divine?!
Who are you in your "other" life??
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
outta here!!
I'm off to Phoenix to hang out with Dustin for a week!!! Just made the decision today, and booked the flight! It's not for a couple weeks yet, but I can't WAIT to get outta here and see some SUN and explore Arizona, and FLY with my friend who's a PILOT!
I know....you're jealous. :) You can come too!
I know....you're jealous. :) You can come too!
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Life isn't about the breaths we take, it's about the moments that take our breath away. ~Heidi Wills

