thursday's theme? therapy!

I know what you're thinking.....

what? therapy? I probably shouldn't be reading this.....it's about therapy.

But don't worry -- therapy is the new massage. And who doesn't love a good massage??


I have seen several different counselors in my lifetime. One in my freshmen year of high school. One at Luther. One when I left Luther. A few in between....and now I've been seeing Barb since January of '07.

There's such a stigma that goes with counseling: you're not strong enough to deal with your own problems; no one else needs therapy, why do you?; some people's lives are way worse than yours -- why do you need counseling?

And, I've believed all those things and been embarrassed each time I've started therapy. Until now. Now I believe therapy is the most beneficial thing anyone can do for themselves -- and I truly believe each and every one of us would benefit from talking to someone a couple times a month.

My latest session with Barb proved to be truly exhausting. I've been seeing her for over a year, and have managed to talk about everything from family to work to school to friends. I've spent over a year talking about all those things and trying so desperately to not talk about dating and relationships and how I actually feel about myself. And, yesterday, I finally ran out of "other stuff" to talk about, and so I began a whole new chapter in therapy -- dating and relationships.

It was really interesting to begin to talk about....because I realized I have had such a wall up about the issue that even my counselor hasn't dared to touch the subject for over a year. Wow! What an eye-opener. I am so happy and excited to finally be thinking about and working through whatever issues these are to get them over and done with! I'll keep you posted on what happens.

So, as I stand here on my soap box, preaching about the wonders of counseling, I'm hoping you're still reading and that you feel a little more comfortable mentioning or even talking about therapy. I have been told (by people in their mid-late 30s and even 40s) that they are so proud of me and a little jealous that I'm working on myself and personal issues at such a young age. They wish they would have felt ok enough with themselves and (god-forbid) therapy to start at an earlier age.

So, this is my little attempt to break down the social stigmas of therapy. And what was on Grey's last night?!? Meredith in therapy!! One day we will all feel comfortable enough to talk about this issue. For me it starts today. I hope it does for you too. Be proud of yourself -- by taking charge of your life and owning your emotions, you are on your way to being the best you you can be!

somebody please explain it to me

For those of you who have heard.....skip on down.

For those of you who haven't.....here goes:

My ever-inspiring roommate comes forth with one good idea after the other. Her most recent stroke of genius is that she's going to start dating again. I love this about her because she presents it as her choice. Like she's chosen to not date, and now, she will begin again. To someone whom dating has always been a mystery (except for that one long drawn-out relationship that ended poorly), I was truly moved by this thought.

So, I said to myself...If she's going to start dating again, I will too!

Like any out-of-practice mid-twenties girl who doesn't want to pick up some half-wasted loser from a bar who's just looking for a one-night stand, I create (or rather, update) my profile on an infamous online dating site. This was last Sunday. But I said to myself, I'm not going to pay the money to actually send emails, etc. unless I receive one first. (No, it's not cheap, it's just planning for my financial future!). Within 24 hours I have an email waiting in my dating "inbox". Great. Now I have to actually subscribe to see who's emailed me.

I read the email, and with the newness of this experience still hanging in the air, somehow find the courage to email the guy back. He seems nice enough....not exactly my first pick for a first date back in the game, but not my last pick either. We email for a couple days (the operative word being "couple" = 2) and what do you know -- I have a date the following day - Wednesday.

I meet Mr. New at a local resturaunt for dinner. Conversation is going well. I am a little rusty, but it doesn't take much to remember how to talk to strangers. I'm very confident, pleasant, and interested in what he's saying. During dinner there's a live band, and all is still well. We're out for about an hour and a half, when we both decide it's time to go. He pays the bill (I offer to tip, but am not allowed) and offers to walk me to my car. He says, "I'm so glad we did this. It was really great meeting you. If you'd like, I would love to take you out again. Here -- let's exchange numbers and I'll call you." We exchange numbers, he gives me a hug. As he's leaving, I say, "Thank you so much, I had a great time!" He says, "Oh my gosh. It was my pleasure." The date ends. I feel great.

It is important to note that I was not super into Mr. New, but I did have a nice time with him.

So, Thursday and Friday pass without contact. Normal.
By Saturday night I still haven't heard from Mr. New, so I think to myself, I am going to text him to say thanks again for dinner and see what he's up to.........................................


Now it's THIS Wednesday, still no word, and I'm completely mystified. What went wrong? Did I do something? Was I not funny enough? Not cute enough? Did I break some ultra-secret dating rule I was unaware of?

Please believe me when I say, I would have been absolutely FINE if he would have said at the end of the night, "Hey, thanks. It was really nice meeting you. Have a great night." It even would have been fine if he'd said, "You know, I had fun getting to know you but I just don't think it's going to work out."

At least then I WOULD KNOW!!!

But don't tell me you had so much fun and you're going to take me out again and let's exchange numbers and give me a hug when all you want to say is "Sorry, I'm just not that in to you."!!!!!!!!!!

Ideas? Suggestions? Insights? This is an open forum - words of wisdom from girls AND guys are welcome.

the next big thing

My dear friend Nicholas Olof Jacobson-Larson, at the ripe young age of 21, composed his first full length musical. He has written music for numerous new plays in the Minneapolis area. He frequents the stage as an actor, musician, technician, and musical director. Check out what he's been up to this year at Berklee School of Music in Boston, MA at http://www.berkleemusic.com/promo/promokit-display?promokit_item_id=9641716. You can listen to some of his music, watch videos, read his bio, and check out pictures of what he has done over the years.

Here are some of my favorite pictures of Nick.

Phoenix

I had a FANTASTIC time in Phoenix last week!!! Dustin and I sat by the pool, watched some Ellen, ate really good food, went to Sedona, and FLEW IN A TINY PLANE!! It's so fun to get out of your typical routine and just get a new perspective. It clears the cobwebs, heightens the senses, and rejuvinates the soul. Here are the highlights:

The view from the top of South Mountain in Phoenix, AZ. This is looking through a window in a stone building at the top of the mountail. Don't worry -- we drove up it!!!

This is just outside Sedona, AZ. The landscape was absolutely breathtaking!!!

Dustin and I FLYING!! In this picture, he's in control of the plane, the air space, AND the camera. NO PRESSURE!! I think it turned out really well, all things considering!